NBA Free Agency: The Saga Continues

Tomorrow night LeBron James, the most important man in sports without a title ring, will decide which team he plans to play for in the future. I’ve made it clear for the past 12 months that I thought LeBron would be a Knick, and tomorrow I’ll either be sorely disappointed, or the happiest dude on all of the internets. Instead of sitting around waiting for the decision, I’ve decided to take a look at all the rest of the free agency happenings. There’s been a good bit of player movement, and even some key re-signings. None of the contracts can be officially signed until July 8th, which is tomorrow, so there’s always the chance of someone backing out of an agreement (looking at you Boozer).

Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to Miami Heat: I’ve already stated that I think these two will be a failure in the future. ESPN would have you believe that they signed in order to convince LeBron James to join them, but I see that happening at exactly a 0% rate. With a trade of Beasley, and the contracts being Maxed out, the Heat would have about $500,000 to fill out at least seven roster spots. The King is used to not having any depth on his team, as he was a Cavalier this whole time, but I doubt he’s looking forward to trying to carry a three man team. Bosh and Wade seem giddy like school girls about being on the same team, and I’m just glad the Knicks didn’t end up with Bosh.

Kevin Durant re-signs with the Thunder: The Durantula is one of my favorite players to watch in the league, and I’m glad he’s happy in Oklahoma City, since that means he won’t be coming to the Eastern Conference anytime soon. It’s supposedly a five year deal , so Durant can finally be comfortable adding a cowboy hat to his wardrobe.

Amar’e Stoudemire a New York Knickerbocker: The Knicks and Amar’e wasted no time agreeing on a contract. The man is an offensive force, and underrated rebounder. He’s had the the opportunity to play with Steve Nash his whole career, so he’ll be used to being around a great playmaker when LeBron James arrives. I’ve been an Amar’e fan since I seen him play live in his first preseason, and I can’t wait to see what he brings to New York.

Carlos Boozer ruins the Bulls chances for LeBron: You may hear me bad mouthing Carlos Boozer a lot, and that’s because he’s a scumbag. He’s famous for overachieving, and being a liar. LeBron James happened to be one of his teammates when Boozer decided to lie his way out of his contract with the Cavaliers. That fact alone probably stands out in LeBron’s head every single time he hears the name Boozer mentioned. Anyone who thinks that adding a player like Boozer is a positive in the James sweepstakes, obviously hasn’t paid attention to both of their careers. Boozer can now help the Bulls back to another first round exit.

Dirk, Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce, and Rudy Gay all stay put: Playing professional sports is a business, and each one of these guys made the conscious decision to forego winning to sign fat deals. Joe Johnson and Rudy Gay are especially out of contention for the future, as Pierce and Dirk play for franchises that have actually made finals appearances. I can’t see the Celtics improving on their failure this year, with all of their star players getting another year older and slower, and the Mavericks are basically just the leagues trade dump. Look for absolutely no greatness from any of these men.

Other Scrub Signings

Chris Duhon signs a 4 year deal with Orlando Magic. Now he and his fat coach can complain about all the press LeBron gets together.

John Salmons and Drew Gooden agree to 5 years with the Milwaukee Bucks. I like Salmons, but he’s past his prime at this point, and Drew Gooden was only good for about a month with the Magic years ago.

Amir Johnson agrees to a 5 year deal with the Toronto Raptors… The Raptors think they can replace Bosh with Johnson, which says more about Bosh than Johnson.

Darko Milicic and Nikolas Pekovic agree to play for the Minnesota Timberwolves. Guess they’re doing the best they can to go Euro before they bring Rubio over. Darko is literally the biggest joke in the league not named Kwame Brown, so Minny still sucks, for lack of a better term.

Hakim Warrick and Channing Frye agree to play for the Phoenix Suns. Warrick was never as good as he was supposed to be at the college level, and his pro evolution isn’t much different. Channing Frye hasn’t been the same player since his shoulder injury during his rookie year with the Knicks, but he was a good regular season player for the Suns. Stressing the regular season part of that sentence.

Steve Blake agrees to give L.A. Lakers fans headaches for the next four years. It blows my mind that mediocre guys like this are able to make millions of dollars a year hooping. Is he better than Farmar? Hardly, if at all.

NBA Free Agency Looms

Thursday, July 1st, is the start of the Nation Basketball Association’s free agency. High interest talent like Lebron James and Dwyane Wade have the biggest decision of their careers to make, and fans all over the country are hoping their team is their answer. It has been said that the NBA free agency period has been more anticipated than the actual NBA Championship that just took place, which just shows the sad state of affairs that is the NBA at this point. Perhaps a league with 3 relevant teams a season will finally be able to add some parity. Here is a look at some of that high priced talent, and where I think they’ll end up…

Lebron “MF’n” James: The headliner of free agency, and pretty much all of basketball, despite his lack of winning championships. Lebron holds the future of the entire league in his hands, as his choice will likely be a contender no matter what team he picks. Even the lowly Nets and Knicks have hope of a great future, if Lebron picks them above the rest. There has been talk that Jay-Z is trying to serenade Lebron with talk of the Nets moving to New York, but that seems highly unlikely at best. While the Nets have a better roster than the Knicks, I don’t see James coming anywhere near a Nets uniform, unless he’s dunking on a player in one. I have also heard a lot of discussion about James taking over the Chicago Bulls’ leadership duties, but as Lebron will be changing his number to 6 instead of 23 to avoid comparisons to the legend that is Michael, I can’t see him stepping onto the floor in a Bulls Jersey. Becoming a Bull is basically the epitome of stepping into Jordan’s shadow.

Prediction: Lebron wants to make the most money possible, and that either means him staying with the Cavs for the maximum possible contract, or him ignoring the fact that James Dolan is human scum, and signing in the biggest city in the world, New York. Despite what ESPN would have you believe, I’m going to say the Knicks and Cavs are the only two destinations for the King.

Dwyane Wade: Pretty much the only champion on the open market. Dwyane has seen hardly any playoff action over the past 3 seasons (only 12 games), so it is possible he’s a little sick of being undermanned in Miami. He’s not exactly made of glass, but he’s clearly injury prone to an extent. He can’t carry a team to the same lengths as Lebron can, but with the right team around him, Wade can closeout close games, which is something Lebron has issues with. Wade is an underrated defender, and is the shortest player to ever have 100 blocks in a season. Wade is a monster on his own, but can be a winner with the right partner sharing the spotlight.

Prediction: Dude isn’t going anywhere, and all the Miami Heat fans are probably as confident as I am that he isn’t leaving. Wade is that franchise, and will continue to be.

Chris Bosh: Possibly the most overrated player in the NBA. Bosh has flourished on a crap team in Toronto for his entire career, but hasn’t been a factor in postseason play. This is basically the ultimate guy that will get a max-contract, but doesn’t have the tools to carry a team anywhere on his own. He may be the Pippen to Wade or Lebron’s Jordan, but he’s certainly no Tim Duncan. Bosh is in a position to make demands at this point, and he’ll be waiting patiently for Lebron or Wade to court him to wherever they end up. I don’t see Bosh setting the tone with an early decision on the free agent marketplace, unless of course, Bron-Bron or D-Wade already confirmed plans with him. On the bright side, Bosh made the funniest All-star campaign I’ve ever seen, so he’s got that going for him.

Prediction: Bosh will be riding the coattails of one D-wade, and they can both get knocked out of the playoffs in the first round together.

Dirk Nowitzki: The more I look at this free agency class, the less respect I have for it. With Dirk comes another player who just can’t get it done when it matters most, in the playoffs. A guy who played with 2-time MVP Steve Nash, and still found himself dominated by another championship-less team ever year, the Sacramento Kings. Dirk is only a free agent because he opted out of his contract to test the market. I don’t suspect he’ll be meeting with too many teams, and in the end probably won’t be going anywhere. Not to another team, and not to a championship.

Prediction: Mavericks. Mark Cuban will literally blow Dirk to keep from losing him.

Joe Johnson: Another (non)winner. Joe Johnson has allegedly said he will take less money to play with great players in hopes of winning a title. He’s about the third best player at his position in this free agency class, and few fans actually care where he ends up. Johnson is a borderline all-star, especially if he were in the West, and now that he turned 29 today, it’s probably for the best to keep away from building a team around JJ. Despite all that, some team will be on the hook for way too much money when all is said and done.

Prediction: New Jersey Nets swoop in, and promise Johnson the opportunity to play with a legit center in Brook Lopez.

Amar’e Stoudemire: The sleeper in this class of free agents. He’s a better player than Bosh in my book, and he’s only 27. Amar’e has proven he can comeback from injury problems, but also showed that he can disappear in a playoff series. He’s another number 2 looking for number 1 money, and he cannot take over entire divisions like the best players available this offseason. If a team is able to lure Amar’e in, they better be able to put players around him, or they’ll just be another middling irrelevant team (NBA already has 20 of those).

Prediction: Phoenix Suns, under the Larry Bird rules he can get the most bang for his buck, and still have Steve Nash to play with.

Carlos Boozer: The only free agent this year with a reputation of taking advantage of blind people. I mean literally, this guy lied to from Cavs owner Gordon Gund, who is blind, during contract negotiations to free himself up to sign with the Jazz. Easily the least classiest move I’ve ever heard of in sports negotiation history. He claims to not be guilty, but so did Michael Jackson, and everyone knows how I feel about that guy. Another player with no proof of winning on his resume, and questionable human instincts. He won’t be worth the money he makes on his new contract, nor did he really earn the $70 million he just made.

Threads paid for with blind man tears…

Prediction: Chicago Bulls, as they probably think he’ll be a great fit with Derrick Rose.