NBA Free Agency: The Saga Continues

Tomorrow night LeBron James, the most important man in sports without a title ring, will decide which team he plans to play for in the future. I’ve made it clear for the past 12 months that I thought LeBron would be a Knick, and tomorrow I’ll either be sorely disappointed, or the happiest dude on all of the internets. Instead of sitting around waiting for the decision, I’ve decided to take a look at all the rest of the free agency happenings. There’s been a good bit of player movement, and even some key re-signings. None of the contracts can be officially signed until July 8th, which is tomorrow, so there’s always the chance of someone backing out of an agreement (looking at you Boozer).

Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to Miami Heat: I’ve already stated that I think these two will be a failure in the future. ESPN would have you believe that they signed in order to convince LeBron James to join them, but I see that happening at exactly a 0% rate. With a trade of Beasley, and the contracts being Maxed out, the Heat would have about $500,000 to fill out at least seven roster spots. The King is used to not having any depth on his team, as he was a Cavalier this whole time, but I doubt he’s looking forward to trying to carry a three man team. Bosh and Wade seem giddy like school girls about being on the same team, and I’m just glad the Knicks didn’t end up with Bosh.

Kevin Durant re-signs with the Thunder: The Durantula is one of my favorite players to watch in the league, and I’m glad he’s happy in Oklahoma City, since that means he won’t be coming to the Eastern Conference anytime soon. It’s supposedly a five year deal , so Durant can finally be comfortable adding a cowboy hat to his wardrobe.

Amar’e Stoudemire a New York Knickerbocker: The Knicks and Amar’e wasted no time agreeing on a contract. The man is an offensive force, and underrated rebounder. He’s had the the opportunity to play with Steve Nash his whole career, so he’ll be used to being around a great playmaker when LeBron James arrives. I’ve been an Amar’e fan since I seen him play live in his first preseason, and I can’t wait to see what he brings to New York.

Carlos Boozer ruins the Bulls chances for LeBron: You may hear me bad mouthing Carlos Boozer a lot, and that’s because he’s a scumbag. He’s famous for overachieving, and being a liar. LeBron James happened to be one of his teammates when Boozer decided to lie his way out of his contract with the Cavaliers. That fact alone probably stands out in LeBron’s head every single time he hears the name Boozer mentioned. Anyone who thinks that adding a player like Boozer is a positive in the James sweepstakes, obviously hasn’t paid attention to both of their careers. Boozer can now help the Bulls back to another first round exit.

Dirk, Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce, and Rudy Gay all stay put: Playing professional sports is a business, and each one of these guys made the conscious decision to forego winning to sign fat deals. Joe Johnson and Rudy Gay are especially out of contention for the future, as Pierce and Dirk play for franchises that have actually made finals appearances. I can’t see the Celtics improving on their failure this year, with all of their star players getting another year older and slower, and the Mavericks are basically just the leagues trade dump. Look for absolutely no greatness from any of these men.

Other Scrub Signings

Chris Duhon signs a 4 year deal with Orlando Magic. Now he and his fat coach can complain about all the press LeBron gets together.

John Salmons and Drew Gooden agree to 5 years with the Milwaukee Bucks. I like Salmons, but he’s past his prime at this point, and Drew Gooden was only good for about a month with the Magic years ago.

Amir Johnson agrees to a 5 year deal with the Toronto Raptors… The Raptors think they can replace Bosh with Johnson, which says more about Bosh than Johnson.

Darko Milicic and Nikolas Pekovic agree to play for the Minnesota Timberwolves. Guess they’re doing the best they can to go Euro before they bring Rubio over. Darko is literally the biggest joke in the league not named Kwame Brown, so Minny still sucks, for lack of a better term.

Hakim Warrick and Channing Frye agree to play for the Phoenix Suns. Warrick was never as good as he was supposed to be at the college level, and his pro evolution isn’t much different. Channing Frye hasn’t been the same player since his shoulder injury during his rookie year with the Knicks, but he was a good regular season player for the Suns. Stressing the regular season part of that sentence.

Steve Blake agrees to give L.A. Lakers fans headaches for the next four years. It blows my mind that mediocre guys like this are able to make millions of dollars a year hooping. Is he better than Farmar? Hardly, if at all.